Baby Boomers are taking to internet dating with gusto. Estimates are that the 50+ set are embracing online dating with more enthusiasm than any other age group.
Included in the huge glut of blogs and articles on this subject, is the sage advice, “post a good photo.” What makes a good photo? Or more specifically, what makes a good photo for on line profile?
Many Baby Boomers search through the profiles looking first at the photos for a hint of chemistry. If a potential match finds the photo attractive, then they advance to reading the profile. According to experts, it only takes 15 seconds to make a great first impression. Otherwise a potential “meet” becomes a “delete”.
So your photo is your first impression and it needs to be a good one. This doesn’t mean you have to be gorgeous, but it does mean there are some things you can do to make yourself as attractive as possible. For women this doesn’t mean that you need to wear an evening gown or get glamour shots (or Botox shots for that matter) and men, you don’t need to hire a body double. You can be attractive and authentic being yourself; if you put your best foot forward.
Here’s a simple list of easy things you can do to let your very special self shine:
- No sun glasses. Let your future partner see your eyes.
- Speaking of eyes, look into the camera. Imagine you are looking into the eyes of your new love.
- No baseball caps (What are you hiding under there?)
- No slouching-your mother was right! Stand up straight! It takes off ten pounds!
- Chin up- gets rid of the double chin.
- Invest in a tooth whitener. It can take years of your smile. Teeth the color of polenta is not a turn on.
- Pay attention to your back ground, posing in front of a sink full of dishes or behind a messy desk, conveys information that may negatively impact that first impression.
- No group photos. Online daters complain they have trouble figuring out which one you are in the mass of smiling faces. This is not a time for a round of “Where’s Waldo?” Also your potential suitor may find he/she is more attracted to your best pal.
- No pictures over one year old. They are misleading and only point up how much you have changed. Don’t set your date up for disappointment.
- Photos of your dog, pottery, garden, or travels to exotic places aren’t necessary. You can write about those interests. Use the photo to showcase YOU. Your new love can meet your dog, (friends, children) later. Once you are in the relationship you can travel to those places together.
- No Exact-o Wives (or Husbands). Just cutting someone out of a picture doesn’t erase their presence. This is especially true when you have to cut off half your own head to make this a solo portrait. Even more eerie is that clearly loving hand, now disembodied from its owner, draped lovingly over your shoulder, sometimes gracefully resplendent with a wedding band! No matter how handy your cutting skills, the “cut away” void speaks volumes; the ghost of partners past settles over your profile and haunts it. It is tacky and a little creepy. Get someone to take a photo of just you without the distraction of someone else’s body parts.
- Pay attention to what you wear. A torn tee-shirt is great for gardening or working out, but dress as you would for a date. Clean, comfortable, casual-dressy. Some men go to the other extreme and use a shot of themselves in a tux (usually from a son or daughter’s wedding). Even James Bond did not wear a tux every day. Try something that gives the viewer clues to your sense of style. Your choice of clothes reveals information about your personality and enhances that first impression. The same goes for women-be casual and neat. Minimize the jewelry and heavy make-up that only detracts from showcasing your beautiful self.
[ReviewAZON asin="0976113317" display="inlinepost"]If you follow these simple steps, your photo will radiate confidence and an upbeat personality. These attributes will make you attractive to potential matches. Of course, don’t forget to Smile, Smile, SMILE! Enjoy the adventure, relax, and have fun!
©2009. Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a licensed psychotherapist in Connecticut. Her newest book, Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads is available at bookstores everywhere, Amazon.com or at www.profileactics.com. Her first book, From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce won an Honorable Mention Award by the Independent Publishers Association. To read more about the author and her work, please visit www.donnaferber.com.
