This statement became apparent to me as I was talking to a couple of business colleagues recently. We had discussed how we could work together a number of times but they weren’t listening and if I hadn’t had the courage to stand up to them (politely but firm) then I’d have been doing what they wanted me to do.
Now, this is annoying on a number of fronts because it means that they haven’t been listening to what I really want our business relationship to involve. I had to repeat it a few times and be very firm otherwise I would have been bulldozed and simply done what they wanted me to do. The good girl syndrome is alive and well and applies equally to men as it does to women. It’s often scary to stand up to people – yet it must be done if you are not to become a ‘door mat’.
After these experiences, my thoughts moved on to life in general and how strong people can wreck your life and stop you from doing what you actually want to do. Many people allow it to happen because they are too scared to stand up to them. Some cultures are worse at this than others but if you look around you’ll probably notice that most people are fairly determined that you will do what they think you should do because they think they know what’s best for us.
It’s your life, so live it according to your values, dreams and expectations. You only get one chance at it so be absolutely determined that you will live your life, just the way you want to. This doesn’t mean that you will be selfish or only think about what your needs are; quite the reverse because when you are focused and know what you want to do (most people never take the time to find out) you will also be committed to negotiating with your partner, family, and other key people in your life so that they too live a Fantastic Life and realise their dreams.
I encourage each and every single one of you to do a personal audit of your life regularly. The busier you are, the more often you need to do it because it is so easy just to get caught up in the craziness of life and not even really know what or why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Dare to be all of who you are, live your life and find out what your aspirations are and then bit by bit, implement them. Live a life full of passion and enthusiasm and let that be a marker: if you are not feeling excited about life, do a personal audit and find out why and then of course, change it so that you do have that wonderful feeling of enthusiasm and passion racing through your veins. Life without it, is horrible, boring and a waste because it can be very different. It doesn’t mean that life will always be wonderful – of course that is not realistic however it does mean that you can learn how to be happy and to make the most of situations.
Most people love to hang around with positive, enthusiastic people – so be one of them.
Merydith Willoughby is an international award winning Organization Development Consultant and works in Washington DC & Adelaide. She is a prolific writer, published globally and regularly interviewed. Her second book Sex in the Boardroom has just been released. Go to www.sexintheboardroom.com for more information.
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